


He Burnt the Notebooks Last Night

by Hrafnsvaengr



Series: Marginalia and Miscellany [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide, No Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-10
Updated: 2016-07-10
Packaged: 2018-07-22 19:54:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7451952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hrafnsvaengr/pseuds/Hrafnsvaengr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He burnt the notebooks last night. So many names were in those books...</p>
            </blockquote>





	He Burnt the Notebooks Last Night

He burnt the notebooks last night. So many names were in those books; James Buchanan Barnes; Bucky; the Winter Soldier; he took his memories into a pile, carefully laying them one on the other so they would burn properly, so the air could feed the flames, leaving nothing but ash and faintly glowing embers of forgotten words.

The team, his team–no, his former team–had gone on a mission. It had gone badly; they lost the target, he lost himself, the Words were spoken and he was lost in the turmoil. The ebb and flow, the parry and thrust, the battle they fought had swallowed him, and he only was found much later. He’d been brought to, certainly; been revived, Lazaruslike–but no, that wasn’t right. He was no saviour on a cross, he was the saved; or the damned. Where was the difference between saved and damned? Perhaps it was only in the memories.

He put down the gun he’d been holding to his temple. He expelled the unspent bullet from the chamber and put back on the safety. Safety first when you’re killing yourself. But he wasn’t killing himself, was he? Not tonight. He watched as a gust picked up a orange-glowing fragment of written memories, expelled from his mind through the mouth of a pen. The spark blew away. He burnt the notebooks last night; what was there left to burn but memories?

**Author's Note:**

> This is just an idea that popped into my head so I decided to write it. Not sure what I think of it, but I think maybe it turned out all right for what it is? Let me know what you think.


End file.
